The Nerquis Ghost.
The good people of Nerquis are much exercised just now by the presence amongst them of one of the inhabitants of the spiritual world. It is currently reported that he is a very considerate creature, for he only troubles one person, and that a member of the fair sex. How and when she, poor thing, offended the inhabitants of the other world, it is not said; although those who have been washing their dirty clothes in public, darkly hint that it is all on account of some opposition she made to their saintly views with regard to the building or non-building of a place of worship.
However, there is no doubt of his ghostly presence though he interferes with her only, and although he has been very harmless in his operations hitherto, there is no knowing what he might do if he is provoked. The way he amuses himself, we are told, is by throwing stones about, when his enemy – the woman in question – passes a certain spot, but he has not struck her, nor anyone else, though she is accompanied on all occasions past the dreaded spot.
In fact, he throws the stones so gently that they come naturally into the hands of her companions. Nevertheless, he is held in great fear, and the good people stand in much awe of him; so much so, as on Wednesday evening, the 17th inst., the services of a member of the “blue” force were called into requisition to apprehend him, and, if possible, to take him before the nearest magistrate, that is, if so ethereal a creature could be persuaded to be gently caught and kept in durance vile.
The gallant officer set about this duty with a stout heart, and accompanied by several stalwart men – for fear of accidents – boldly approached the awful spot. His hair did not stand on ends – for reason, those who know him can appreciate – but whether the same praise can be afforded to his companions is more than we can say. But as they neared the spot, the stones could be seen gently approaching, but from which direction nobody seemed to know, and what is more wonderful they did not seem to strike anyone that the inquiry should be made.
Approach they did however, and wonderful to relate, acknowledging the august presence of the representative of bumbledom, they lodged themselves one and all in his hands. He was not in the least hurt, nor was anybody else, and though it was a nice moonlight night nobody could be seen.
This dire event was the cause of much consternation. The boy in blue felt a tremor creeping over his whole body, and a decided inclination to tremble, especially about his heels. It was full time to beat a hasty retreat, which was accordingly done, and so masterly was it conducted that not a single casualty occurred. The brave army and the braver general arrived at Nerquis in perfect safety, much to the joy of their families.
But the troubles of the night were not over. We ought to have stated, that notwithstanding the hasty retreat, the combatants were able to bring from the field trophies of the battle, if not of victory. These were the stones which lodged themselves so considerately in the policeman’s hands. Whether they put themselves there voluntarily in fear of the ghost, or whether his ghostship placed them there because he could not trust himself to retain them in his own hands we are not informed. But no sooner did the faithful officer lay them carefully on the floor of his own house, then there was an immense commotion throughout the household.
His better-half was up in arms – “What! did he intend to keep the implements of Satan in her house?” Not if she knew it, and out they had to go, every one of them, and on the next morning the bewildered husband had to report the real presence of a visitor from another world to his official superiors, some of whom are as credulous on the subject as himself.
We have treated the subject just with that amount of seriousness that it deserves. Notwithstanding our Sunday and day schools, the superstitions of darker days still linger among us. Had the woman, finding that the stones did not hurt her, said nothing about them, some mischievous person would have missed a great deal of fun, for he would soon have got tired of unnoticed exertions. Now he is in high glee, no doubt, and some years hence will have renewed pleasure in relating the frolics of his younger days.
Wrexham Advertiser, 27th February 1875.